"How to Deal With Difficult Family Members God's Way" RESCUE RADIO with Marjorie Cole

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I have an emergency. What is your location?

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'Cause there's a war for your soul. Yes, Father God, we know,

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we get it. We're here, Lord God, and you've not forgotten about us.

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We declare that your kingdom come, your will be done, oh God, on earth,

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in and through us, as it's being done and declared in heaven,

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of course. And that you, you want your will to be

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done through us. So we are agreeing with that. Thank you, Jesus, for dying

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on the cross for us, taking on our punishment.

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And reconciling us and delivering us from the

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devil's demand for our death. And Father, I thank you for not only doing

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that, but giving us power and promise, promise of an eternal life

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with you. So I pray that whoever is hearing this that doesn't know yet

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Jesus as your Savior, what are you waiting for? In Jesus' name,

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there's no other, there's no other salvation. There's no other rescue coming.

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This is it. And so Father, I thank you for giving us eyes to see,

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ears to hear, and a heart to lay down the rebellion and the resistance

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and come into the submission to the goodness of your love. And isn't it

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amazing, Lord, that Satan has made your love such a despicable thing to so many

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people that they hold you in contempt rather than coming to

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and worshiping at your feet? And Lord, we thank you, Lord, for divine wisdom

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and counsel and the moving of your Spirit to gather in those

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who are left behind, the remnant, that they will not be lost.

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That as you come together and harvest, you will bring forth your own,

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your own kingdom, your church, your remnant, your will

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be done. And I bind the powers of darkness who have come against us,

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who have tried to set up oppositions and snares and webs and discouragement

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and destruction. I forbid his activities in our family.

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I declare that So

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today we're talking about, uh, Relatively Speaking.

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I like that title. Um, you know, what's that

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about? Well, uh, it's kind of like, how do we deal with our

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own relatives? You know, the relatives, the people who God has put

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right around us, connected us with, who by blood, these are

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blood, usually blood or adopted, but blood usually.

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And, um, In these troubling days when Satan is trying to

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do everything to divide everything, including families, how do we survive

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this division and this discord? You know,

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it seems like Satan is,

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he's using his most powerful and

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almost secret weapon against us, which is to turn us against each other.

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Well, God established marriage and he established the family as

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the basic unit of society. And this is where we get attacked the most,

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right there. Divorce, division.

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Divorce, contention. It's interesting what Jesus said in Matthew

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chapter 10, verse 34.

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We kind of give you the bad news first and then the good news.

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Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come

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to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to set a

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man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law

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against her mother-in-law, and a man's enemies shall be those of his own

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household. And then he goes on,

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he who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,

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and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

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And he who does not take up his cross and follow me is not

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worthy of me. And he who finds his life will lose it, and he

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who loses his life for my sake will find it. So he paints a picture

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here. He says there's going to be family division because

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you become a follower of Jesus Christ. Right, right, exactly.

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And I think the devil also loves that, that there's such

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a dichotomy between the lost and the goodness, the good

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news that Satan uses his most powerful weapon that he always

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uses to divide us again by turning us against each other,

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you know, through opinions and offense and discord and greed and fear

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and covetousness to get us to destroy one another.

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Because actually that's all he can do. He cannot just kill us because

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he wants to. He has got to get us to turn against each

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other and do his work for him by killing each other. And so we,

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and we also know that there's the power in the words.

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Proverbs 18:21, there's life and death, or death and life in the power of

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the tongue. So Satan knows if he can get us to speak

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against one another, curse one another, fight with one another,

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words of discord or division or contempt or gossip,

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if he can use us to launch those words, he has

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a force. That he can use against us. Those words either into our

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face or behind our back can speak evil and death. And he

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uses those words to grind away,

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break up, and create bitterness and unforgiveness,

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which is exactly what Jesus said. There's going to be a division coming

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and he's warning us about it. He's not there to make the division. Jesus isn't

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the one setting up the division, but he's there to warn us that Satan

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is going to use that division and our words to try to separate us

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from one another and then offend and then ultimately discourage

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us from coming into the love of God. The truth always brings division.

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It brings unity for those that embrace the truth together

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and division for those who reject the truth. Now,

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one of the things to keep in mind here is that some of

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you have been, you're like the first fruits in your family.

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Maybe you're the first one that you know of that's

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really surrendered themselves to Jesus Christ. That's,

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that's 2 things there. Very difficult position

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you're in there, and it's an opportunity.

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Well, and another thing is everybody's watching you and

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wondering what happened to you. You got religion. Yeah, whatever,

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something. But, you know, so Satan goes back to using The differences,

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you know, anything that's different, he wants us to criticize

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or reject so he can control the course of destiny and

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humankind by just giving, using our God-given powers

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to get us to destroy each other with these kinds of words

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and questions and rejection. Even Jesus had this problem going

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on when he was in his own country. He said

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that he couldn't do many mighty works there because of their

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unbelief. He did not, he says Jesus did not, do many

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mighty works into Nazareth because of

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their unbelief. And what's that? They were prejudiced of him.

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They already knew him. They thought they knew him. So many times we get stereotyped

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by our relatives. They think they know us, but they— and

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then so they kind of judge, prejudge us, so to speak.

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And so therefore, when he came back to town and

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they already knew that he was the carpenter, they were offended at him.

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Offended because he hadn't— he was not fitting

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into their mold, their stereotype— stereotypical mold.

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And Jesus said a prophet is not without honor

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except in his own country. And you just think of all, you know, a lot

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of people don't believe— they've been taught that Jesus never had any brothers

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or sisters, but we had— we know from the scripture that

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he had 4 half-brothers. Yep.

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Right. Of course, God the Father is the

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father. You know, he was— Jesus was immaculately conceived in,

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in the, in the womb of Mary. But the

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father Joseph, there were 4 brothers,

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half-brothers. They would be half-brothers, Mary being the mother.

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And then there were sisters as well, at least 2 sisters, because it says

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sisters. Where is that? Yeah, that's Matthew 13:55.

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Is this not the carpenter's son? So they thought they knew him,

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what he did. He worked in Nazareth. He was a carpenter. Is not Mary his

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mother with us? Yes. Where's Joseph? He's probably passed away by this time.

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And his brothers, not brethren, his brothers, James,

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Joseph, Simeon, and Judas. So they're naming 4 half-brothers.

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And his sisters, which is plural, means that there have to be at least

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2 and maybe 3. And his sisters, are they not all with us?

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Where then did this man get these things? So they're saying,

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where did— so, and it says the next verse, so they were offended at

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him. But Jesus said to them, a prophet is not without

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honor except in his own country and in his own house. And he did not

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do many mighty works there because of their unbelief. So this was

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shocking when I first realized that I'd been taught that there was the Holy Family,

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Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. And then you read in the Bible that there's actually

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siblings and it's a bigger family than you might— so Jesus was the oldest of

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quite a few, of 7 or 6 or 7 brothers and sisters.

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So there is a— he understands a

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lot of things about human relationships that we don't give him credit for, I think.

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And you can understand that those brothers, that they realize, oh, our big brother,

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and the sister, our big brother is the Son of God, is the Messiah.

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Yeah. They didn't really have that revelation except, oh, he's going off preaching,

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he's going off doing this and that. And it says, um,

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they said one time at the Feast of Tabernacles coming up in John 7,

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his brothers therefore said to him, depart from here and go to the into Judea.

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They're trying to tell him what to do, that your disciples— okay, now our

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older brother, he's got these followers and he's doing these

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works, that your disciples may also see the works that you're doing.

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For no one does anything in secret while he himself seeks

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to be known openly. If you do these things, show yourself to the world.

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So they're, they're trying to tell him what to do.

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And it says in verse 5, even his brothers did not believe

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Well, the thing is, you know, it's hard enough for a normal

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person to believe him, you know, but when you're related, now this is a

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double obstacle because I already knew him growing up.

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I knew who he was. He was a nice kid. He was good. He was

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a good big brother, but the Son of God, that's a big giant

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leap for, cause that makes you what? Well, you know, I think we

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define people according to how we understand ourselves. And so when we reject our own

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selves and don't, give credit to what God has done. We just kind

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of put people and ourselves into a box. And that's why the people in Nazareth

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couldn't receive the miracles because they already had set him up to be,

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um, just, you know, one of them. And they didn't, they didn't even know

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who they were. So again, our relatives, when you're coming into a

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new place, you're following Jesus. This is a whole new deal.

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Unless you were born into a family like Jerry said, where there has been several

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generations of following Jesus, you are like weird. And you're

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like, what happened to you? And you You don't fit in. And so when you're

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going into a place of gathering, like we're coming up into now with Thanksgiving,

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Christmas, these various holidays coming up, you know,

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and plus all of the political division and

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all of the division everywhere. I mean, every family,

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you can't— I don't think there'd be a family out there who doesn't have some

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issue where there is the enemy's attempting to divide

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them on something, whether it's political, religious,

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Relational divorce,

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taking sides,

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just tragedies and catastrophes and difficulties everywhere.

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And this really makes for a lot of difficulty

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in actually walking in the peace and the joy of God,

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because you are either judging or being judged. And so what

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would Jesus have us do in these really tense

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and very complex situations? Well,

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especially in a family. Okay, you're wanting to win your

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family to the Lord. Pray for them. Pray for

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them. That's so important. And sometimes, you know, we get so

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full of the Lord that we want, we want everybody to,

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to follow Jesus. We get it. We get all excited. And,

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and sometimes if they're in a part of a dead, evil church

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somewhere or not, if they are, we tend to criticize that

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church or Or if they're not, you know, we try to maybe get

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them to go to church or whatever, but we get— I would say pray for

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them. Don't get all hyper about it, but pray

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for them and just live your life

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for Jesus. And as— pray that

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God will open their hearts to the Word of God. And if they won't listen

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to you, pray that somebody else will come into their lives

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that will be a credible witness for Jesus.

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That's what happened in my family.

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So someone else came in to a couple

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that we were really praying for. Someone else came in and

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God worked through them and then through us later on

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and before that too, but the key player was somebody

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else that brought the gospel to them outside the family.

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Taking this subject a little bit different direction, Everyone believes

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that they're right in their own eyes. They really all believe that I've got

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it right. Really, we don't have it right. And we don't want to admit that

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we have it wrong. So we just keep saying, my opinion is right.

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And we, and that's part of the problem. We're not willing or

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ready to surrender our opinions to

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the word of God. And that's where we all have to come. Everyone has to

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come into that place of surrendering their will, their plans,

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their identity, their whatever they think they are, and their relatives to

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the will of God. And this is, and then this takes us into another direction.

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As we said, what would Jesus do? How would Jesus treat them? Would he,

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um, you know, cram it down their throat? More than likely not. He didn't do

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that. As you look at his examples of how he treated people,

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he, he met them right where they were at. He had the absolute

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word for them. Like, um, remember Zacchaeus climbing

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up into the tree who had done all these, shady deals

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and income tax evasion and overcharging people for

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their taxes and whatnot. And Jesus didn't mention any of that. He just said,

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Zacchaeus, come down. I have to be at your house today for

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tea. I mean, he read past

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all that and saw Zacchaeus had a hunger because he had climbed

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up in a tree just so he could see Jesus passing by. So we see

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that Jesus reads the crowd well. And I think that's part of what we do

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when we go into a a gathering, especially a relative gathering,

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you read the crowd and there's a time to speak and there's

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a time to say nothing. There's a time to be gentle and there's a time

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to be forceful. And usually there are more times when God wants

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us to be gentle and listening and not being an offense.

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So even like in Romans chapter 14, where Paul is talking about the principles

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of Christian liberty and how, and eating, even observing

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days, that's what, you know, holidays or, Feast days,

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he who eats, he's talking about eating,

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and he observes the day, observes it to the Lord. And he who does not

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observe the day, to the Lord he does not observe it. He who eats,

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eats to the Lord, for he gives God thanks. And he who does not eat,

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to the Lord he does not eat and gives God thanks. So he's saying,

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don't get uptight about these details where people are eating this or

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that, or they're vegetarians or

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they're— Yeah, they're vegetarian or they're eating

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their religion. Their lifestyle,

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their addictions and stuff like that. You have to focus on that person

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like Margie is saying. Hear what the Spirit is saying to

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you about that person. And the connection,

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it gets down to who is Jesus? It gets down to

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loving them. Who is Jesus Christ? And demonstrating

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it without hypocrisy. Without hypocrisy. Be consistent,

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in other words. Be consistent. Don't have a double story. And another

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thing too is that a lot of times people get very cruel.

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They'll gossip about you. Oh man, Ernie got religion,

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or Susie got religion and she's in some

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cult now, and whatever. Yeah. So you have to— families

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can be very, very cruel. Be forgiving. And so it's important

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to be forgiving, understanding. Jesus on the cross said,

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Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. Well, and again,

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going back to Romans 14:80, says, for we For if we live,

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we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord.

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Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord's. I belong to the Lord.

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He is my Lord,

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and therefore I don't have to answer really ultimately to

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anybody but him. But I do need to answer for how I

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have treated the people around me. For to this

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end that Christ died and rose again, that he might be the Lord both of

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the dead and living. Why? He says in verse 10, But why do you judge

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your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we

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shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For as

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it is written, as I live, says the Lord, every knee shall

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bow to me. Think about the knees that have been obstinate and bitter and wicked

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and cruel and merciless. Every knee will bow to me and

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every tongue shall confess to God. So then

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each one of us will give an account of himself to God.

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Therefore, let us not judge one another. Anymore, but rather resolve

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this not to put a stumbling block or cause to fall in her brother's way.

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And this is so easy to do when you get judgmental, you get religious,

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you get legalistic, and you're just critical. And they're not doing it

18:14.959 --> 18:18.187
like me, so they're not doing it right. You know, God is the judge.

18:18.733 --> 18:22.426
And to want— some people eat and some people

18:22.442 --> 18:25.621
don't eat. Some do this, some do that. Some go to this church,

18:25.717 --> 18:29.515
some don't. Some observe this day, some don't. And God is saying, I am

18:29.758 --> 18:33.456
the judge. Let me be. And I think this will back— cause

18:33.956 --> 18:37.255
us to back off a little bit on being so critical and so

18:37.630 --> 18:40.944
narrow-minded. And, you know,

18:41.025 --> 18:45.456
I mean, obviously there are some things we cannot permit or agree

18:45.956 --> 18:49.544
with or, you know, give credence to.

18:50.156 --> 18:53.541
There's certain things that you cannot endorse,

18:54.847 --> 18:58.374
certain behaviors, certain agreements. But you can also have

18:58.874 --> 19:02.061
time to just let the Lord deal with that and you be a light.

19:02.638 --> 19:05.732
You be a witness through just your testimony. Well,

19:05.748 --> 19:09.066
Jesus was a friend of publicans and sinners. Okay.

19:09.451 --> 19:12.945
Publicans were tax collectors, hated sinners,

19:13.362 --> 19:17.049
you know, prostitutes, whatever. They loved

19:17.549 --> 19:21.024
Jesus. Jesus loved them. He did not sin with them,

19:21.537 --> 19:24.567
but he met with them. And we need to do that with our families too.

19:24.615 --> 19:28.608
So let's say say if you have— let's start

19:28.804 --> 19:32.132
in the home. If your home is intact, I mean,

19:32.472 --> 19:36.758
a lot of us are in places where there's been divorces and mixed

19:37.258 --> 19:41.101
marriages and, uh, how can I say, blended families

19:41.198 --> 19:43.854
and brokenness and stuff like that. You know,

19:44.337 --> 19:48.588
one of the ways biblically husbands

19:48.620 --> 19:52.230
are to love their wives as Christ loved the church So that's

19:52.358 --> 19:54.107
if you have an unsaved wife,

19:55.326 --> 19:58.518
love her as Christ loved the church. If you have an unsaved husband,

19:59.016 --> 20:02.721
respect him and let your lifestyle— Peter talks about

20:03.221 --> 20:06.876
that— let your lifestyle win him. Don't just nag

20:06.957 --> 20:10.710
him, but pray for him. And may your sweet

20:10.903 --> 20:13.534
spirit just, you know,

20:14.496 --> 20:18.395
let God use that to win them over. Yeah. You know, It's not

20:18.587 --> 20:22.051
easy, but sometimes, you know, this is our training also.

20:22.676 --> 20:24.777
How are you going to treat the broken? How are you going to treat the

20:25.277 --> 20:27.503
ones that have offended you? How are you going to treat the ones who are

20:27.568 --> 20:31.513
bitter and spoke against you and even created trouble in your

20:32.013 --> 20:35.923
life, conflict, caused you to cost your job or cost your relationship?

20:36.324 --> 20:39.563
I mean, and do we judge them or do we love them and forgive them?

20:40.092 --> 20:43.973
I believe the most, the best way to do it is to not be offended.

20:44.486 --> 20:47.837
Recognize there's a spiritual battle. Realize that half the time what

20:47.870 --> 20:51.622
you're hearing out of their mouth is probably a demonic spirit

20:52.119 --> 20:55.662
because many people, um, we have to deal with other people's demons all

20:55.710 --> 20:59.398
the time. And so recognize it's not even them and

20:59.898 --> 21:03.744
forgive them in your heart and treat them as one that

21:04.244 --> 21:07.095
the Lord would love and that the Lord would want you to let your light

21:07.595 --> 21:10.125
so shine. You know, I was thinking the other day, a light, when you bring

21:10.238 --> 21:13.413
a light into a dark room, You bring

21:13.445 --> 21:17.390
your— you're walking into the room, the gathering, the family reunion, the whatever.

21:17.454 --> 21:21.463
You see what's there. The light exposes what's

21:21.963 --> 21:25.569
in the room. The light does not try to rearrange the room or

21:25.697 --> 21:29.530
clean up the room, or it just simply exposes.

21:29.642 --> 21:34.068
And I think that's the, you know, the light is in itself

21:35.015 --> 21:38.447
difficult enough to deal with when people are you know,

21:38.607 --> 21:42.395
already confused and scattered and angry and offended and woke and

21:42.895 --> 21:46.278
everything else. So just be the light. Love them.

21:46.487 --> 21:50.226
Keep that smile on your face. Encourage them in

21:50.403 --> 21:53.709
any way that you can. Love them. Just, just see them for

21:54.209 --> 21:57.834
who they are. They're lost. They're woke. They're confused. They're angry. They're bitter.

21:57.962 --> 22:01.557
They're attacked. They're addicted. Whatever it all is that you've

22:01.573 --> 22:04.269
been through and maybe have been delivered already from,

22:05.328 --> 22:08.683
And judge not lest you be judged. So we're not here to judge them.

22:08.779 --> 22:12.133
We're here to discern what's going on and the need.

22:12.567 --> 22:16.162
But discerning is different than judging. Just like discerning that you're

22:16.662 --> 22:20.399
not going to throw your pearls before swine is discerning that that's a swine

22:20.496 --> 22:23.529
and it's not something you want to throw your pearls before. But at the same

22:23.561 --> 22:26.867
time, if there's a plank in your own eye, take that out before you

22:26.932 --> 22:29.949
deal with the speck in someone else's eye. So both of those, those,

22:30.527 --> 22:34.203
principles are correct and true and appropriate for certain

22:34.235 --> 22:37.429
times. So the question is, you need to know what time is it.

22:37.926 --> 22:42.084
But the most important thing is to love them however that looks

22:42.662 --> 22:45.984
in practicality. You know, whether that,

22:46.658 --> 22:49.259
I don't know what it looks like. Just ask the Holy Spirit because the Holy

22:49.759 --> 22:53.223
Spirit's going with you to that reunion, that party, that celebration,

22:53.962 --> 22:57.060
that interaction, that wedding, that everyday, or that everyday,

22:57.188 --> 23:00.977
just that everyday. And a lot of mothers and fathers and grandparents

23:01.282 --> 23:05.151
are suffering because their children are, or have

23:05.199 --> 23:09.197
withheld their grandchildren from them, or they're using

23:09.309 --> 23:12.648
the children as a bartering tool or as

23:12.745 --> 23:16.935
a weapon. They've weaponized their children against their, their, their own parents,

23:17.400 --> 23:20.804
uh, or vice versa. But, but these things are not pleasing to God.

23:20.852 --> 23:24.304
And so when you, if something like that has been happening in your family,

23:24.320 --> 23:28.143
whether you're, children are weaponizing your grandchildren against you. And so

23:28.159 --> 23:31.083
you've got to walk on eggshells so that you don't get anybody upset,

23:31.694 --> 23:34.280
um, so that you can still see the children, or maybe they've already taken away

23:34.780 --> 23:37.751
the children and there, there, there's no communication and whatnot.

23:38.281 --> 23:41.799
Then you really seek the Lord. You go back. The Lord is Lord

23:41.896 --> 23:45.366
over all of it. He is bigger than the abuse. He's bigger

23:45.866 --> 23:49.784
than the offense. He's bigger than their little bullheaded, stubborn demon that's

23:50.284 --> 23:53.411
inside of them trying to make them hurt you. God is bigger than cancer.

23:53.475 --> 23:56.969
God is bigger, bigger, bigger than anything. He's bigger than

23:57.322 --> 24:00.801
the fiery furnace. He's bigger than Jonah and the whale. He's bigger than, uh,

24:01.153 --> 24:05.177
you know, the Pharaohs. He's, he, he is over all. And so

24:05.677 --> 24:09.136
he is your God. And so, you know, the Bible says in 1 John,

24:09.649 --> 24:13.144
if we ask anything according to his will,

24:13.913 --> 24:16.687
we know that he hears us. And if we know that he hears us,

24:17.119 --> 24:20.470
we know that we have the things that we've asked for of him. So if

24:20.970 --> 24:24.029
you are asking for the reconciliation of your family, restoration of fellowship

24:24.529 --> 24:28.344
and friendship and kindness and love and healing in the relationships.

24:28.745 --> 24:31.905
If you're asking for those things, you are asking in God's will.

24:32.499 --> 24:35.595
And if you then know that you've asked according to God's will, then you can

24:35.787 --> 24:39.220
rest that God has heard you. And many times I think

24:39.252 --> 24:42.990
we realize we pray, we know we're in God's will and praying the right thing,

24:43.343 --> 24:47.097
but we don't realize that God has already answered us because we don't

24:47.597 --> 24:50.401
yet see the answer. So we're still fretting to try to get the answer.

24:50.867 --> 24:53.626
And so we're not in joy and in peace. But if you know, well,

24:53.690 --> 24:55.950
it's already here, I already got it, even though it doesn't look like it.

24:55.998 --> 24:59.748
I don't see it yet. I know I've got it. You will act differently

25:00.181 --> 25:03.946
than if you're still fretting and fussing to try to get the answer. And you

25:04.446 --> 25:07.920
have to keep in mind this, that the Lord is not slack concerning his

25:07.952 --> 25:11.862
promise, as some count slackness. So he's

25:11.879 --> 25:14.106
not just saying, well, whatever is going to happen.

25:15.067 --> 25:17.119
He is Lord over all.

25:18.433 --> 25:22.263
He's on his promises. He's backing his promises.

25:22.359 --> 25:25.404
He's not lazy about his promises. And,

25:25.724 --> 25:28.513
and this is in 2 Peter 3:9,

25:29.571 --> 25:32.840
uh, not willing that any should perish, yes,

25:33.433 --> 25:36.286
that all— but that all should come to repentance.

25:36.382 --> 25:39.475
So God is willing for your

25:39.668 --> 25:43.755
family, your relatives, your kids, your grandkids, your uncles,

25:43.835 --> 25:47.873
your aunts, your cousins, mothers and fathers, that, you know, and you're there

25:48.082 --> 25:51.537
to be a light. And it's something that should be a

25:51.617 --> 25:54.948
joy, not just a pressure, but yet it's,

25:55.255 --> 25:59.038
it's a responsibility to be a light there to that family.

25:59.151 --> 26:01.683
I think a lot of times when people go back to their families, let's just

26:02.183 --> 26:06.063
say you have a very negative family situation and

26:06.144 --> 26:09.348
they're just, they don't like your advice. They don't, they don't want what you have

26:09.381 --> 26:12.214
to say. And actually when you go there,

26:12.279 --> 26:15.788
many times when people go back to their families, even as adults, they go

26:15.804 --> 26:19.040
back to their families, they are retraumatized or reprogrammed by

26:19.540 --> 26:22.963
the things that they learned growing up, like the rejection or the the conflict or

26:23.463 --> 26:26.297
the intense confusion or the alcoholism or whatever it is,

26:26.714 --> 26:30.674
they're, they're already traumatized. And so you walk back

26:30.818 --> 26:34.233
in there and you get retriggered to act like you did,

26:34.409 --> 26:38.257
you know, to, to kind of avoid or to feel like you're responsible

26:38.757 --> 26:40.886
or feel guilty and all of these other things that go on.

26:41.463 --> 26:44.685
And yet, so when you go back and you still

26:45.185 --> 26:49.270
are triggered and traumatized, you do not yet know who you are

26:49.959 --> 26:53.053
and where you have been set free from because you're still,

26:53.662 --> 26:57.205
part of you is still operating triggered by the old

26:57.269 --> 27:01.180
signals, uh, that, you know, make my mom happy. I got to get

27:01.680 --> 27:04.579
the— fix the family. I gotta, I gotta, it's my fault.

27:04.787 --> 27:08.474
Um, so then you don't want to be there. You get, you're acting in your

27:08.554 --> 27:12.257
old carnal way. But when you come in there and know

27:12.757 --> 27:15.736
that you are saved, you're now part of the family of God. You have a

27:15.784 --> 27:19.118
Father who loves you and you don't have to be offended and you

27:19.134 --> 27:22.581
don't have to feel guilty. You don't have to feel ashamed. You don't have to

27:23.081 --> 27:25.626
feel like, you know, you've got to fix them. You don't you don't walk in

27:25.706 --> 27:29.296
the lie, you walk in the truth, then you can walk in there and actually

27:29.408 --> 27:33.382
be a confirming light, be a hope, be a true rescue,

27:33.718 --> 27:37.388
be a true hope. It's very hard to win your family because your family's already

27:37.500 --> 27:40.769
judged you at least 2 strikes against all of us.

27:41.009 --> 27:43.734
Well, that's just, you know, fill in your name.

27:44.134 --> 27:47.451
That's, we know them. We know where they, we know she was always,

27:47.499 --> 27:50.512
well, we can't, you know, we just remember when they used to.

27:50.720 --> 27:54.186
Yeah. So, So we, we have those words against us,

27:54.266 --> 27:57.380
especially when we're with our blood relatives or families that's near.

27:58.086 --> 28:01.281
Um, but at the same time, you, you can't go into those families,

28:01.474 --> 28:05.005
back into those families, if you don't know your identity

28:05.505 --> 28:08.199
in Christ, that you are a created son or daughter of the Most High God

28:08.699 --> 28:11.972
first, before you were ever a son or a daughter of so-and-so. And so we

28:12.472 --> 28:15.728
have to know that we come from God, we're his workmanship created in

28:15.760 --> 28:19.532
Christ Jesus unto good works. And we don't have to be apologetic,

28:19.918 --> 28:23.159
although we don't come in being offensive either. We're here

28:23.384 --> 28:27.503
as, you know, and one more thing that comes to my mind is when

28:27.551 --> 28:30.998
we are crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ who

28:31.498 --> 28:33.723
lives in me and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live

28:34.223 --> 28:37.314
by the faith of the Son of God. So we're actually, when you're

28:37.330 --> 28:40.904
walking in the Spirit, you're actually carnally dead. You're walking

28:41.001 --> 28:45.072
in a place where you're preferring to take your direction

28:45.168 --> 28:48.791
from the Spirit of God as his Spirit imparts or bears witness with your spirit

28:49.192 --> 28:52.174
rather than just doing what the old you used to do or what you're used

28:52.674 --> 28:54.964
to doing and what people expect you to do or what you think you should

28:55.464 --> 28:59.508
do. You're just waiting for God's direction and abiding as his

28:59.605 --> 29:03.201
daughter or his son. And so we need to be proactive in forgiving.

29:03.314 --> 29:07.247
I think of Joseph in the Old Testament that was betrayed by his jealous

29:07.747 --> 29:11.438
brothers, sold into slavery. We could say that the best years of

29:11.486 --> 29:14.762
his youth were spent in prison in a horrible situation,

29:15.276 --> 29:19.322
but God raised him up to power. He was the second in command

29:19.515 --> 29:22.389
in Egypt. And God said, listen,

29:23.368 --> 29:27.206
uh, God— he knew this. Joseph knew this in his heart.

29:27.719 --> 29:31.332
And he said to his brothers, when he finally revealed himself to his brothers when

29:31.832 --> 29:35.571
they came looking for food because they were starving back home, he said,

29:35.587 --> 29:39.472
listen, God— don't be angry with yourselves.

29:40.628 --> 29:44.337
It's interesting. Don't be grieved or angry with yourselves in

29:44.837 --> 29:48.830
Genesis 45:8. 5, because you said you sent me,

29:48.990 --> 29:52.711
you sold me here, for God sent me before

29:52.743 --> 29:56.256
you to preserve life. He said,

29:56.433 --> 29:59.881
you know, you did something evil, your intent was evil,

30:00.523 --> 30:03.715
but God has turned it around for good. And when he saw that,

30:03.731 --> 30:07.564
when he had that perspective— you might have gone through all kinds of evil in

30:07.596 --> 30:11.237
your home, but listen, God is working it

30:11.526 --> 30:13.675
together for good for those who love you.

30:14.960 --> 30:18.326
Love God and called according to his purpose. And at the same

30:18.358 --> 30:20.339
time too, later on,

30:21.966 --> 30:24.254
after Joseph's father passed away,

30:25.771 --> 30:29.483
the boys were really worried that,

30:29.564 --> 30:33.081
okay, now that dad's gone, maybe he's going to try to kill us.

30:33.516 --> 30:36.398
But listen, Joseph said, no, he said, I forgive you.

30:36.639 --> 30:40.117
They asked for forgiveness. Don't wait for somebody to ask

30:40.617 --> 30:44.588
for forgiveness. Forgive. Yeah. We don't— because that forgiveness

30:45.088 --> 30:48.892
road goes both ways. It goes, if you know that you have something against someone,

30:48.940 --> 30:51.766
you go down that road to ask for forgiveness. Or if you know they have

30:51.815 --> 30:55.749
something against you, you go down that road to get it straightened out and ask

30:56.249 --> 30:59.860
for forgiveness. So in either case, it is your obligation to

31:00.360 --> 31:03.457
resolve the matter. Go to them. And if they don't listen to

31:03.957 --> 31:06.604
you, take a friend. And if they don't listen to the second person, tell it

31:07.104 --> 31:09.334
to the church. And if they don't, then just let it be, for God is

31:09.834 --> 31:12.143
still working in them, but you don't have to hate them. You can still keep

31:12.643 --> 31:15.719
them in your prayers and ask and just really, I mean,

31:16.136 --> 31:19.359
intervening, interceding, because if we really knew how

31:19.439 --> 31:24.058
desperately lost and what a desperate, terrible, dangerous situation

31:24.090 --> 31:27.682
these people were in, we would travail, we would pray,

31:27.698 --> 31:31.193
we would intercede, we would seek God for them in

31:31.209 --> 31:34.416
a way that, you know, a way

31:34.432 --> 31:38.361
that we don't really usually pray. We kind of pray casually and oh

31:38.861 --> 31:41.504
well, and if it works, it works. And if it doesn't, something else will work

31:42.004 --> 31:45.705
out or we'll figure it out. But, desperately praying for their salvation

31:45.817 --> 31:49.842
and for their turning around and make it an everyday. I mean, don't just

31:50.291 --> 31:53.017
throw up. I mean, you can say, thank you, God, you already did it.

31:53.434 --> 31:56.849
We know that. But at the same time, once you pray it,

31:56.865 --> 32:00.666
you can also begin to remind God through acts of thanksgiving.

32:00.730 --> 32:04.337
Thank you, God, for hearing my prayers. Thank you for saving so-and-so, even though

32:04.418 --> 32:07.865
they're not. I thank you ahead of time. I rejoice. I give, I offer the

32:08.365 --> 32:12.082
sacrifice of praise or the sacrifice of joy. I'm offering

32:12.114 --> 32:15.464
you that as a thank offering for what I've

32:15.544 --> 32:17.452
asked you to do. And I know you're going to do it because it is

32:17.548 --> 32:20.995
your will. So it is God's will that none should perish and that all your

32:21.495 --> 32:25.002
family should be saved. So act like it, treat them like it, act, treat them

32:25.018 --> 32:28.561
like they're already saved in a way, because otherwise you're going to treat them with

32:29.010 --> 32:33.178
judgment and anger and, uh, and, and fear.

32:33.675 --> 32:37.281
So if you already act, treat them as if they're saved, it's just like they

32:37.781 --> 32:40.792
just have to come through the veil. They're out there. They're just close. They're just

32:40.808 --> 32:43.342
not, they just have to take one more step and they're in. The kingdom,

32:43.920 --> 32:47.035
just treat them, act, believe as

32:47.067 --> 32:50.439
if they are, because if you do that, then they're going to say, oh,

32:50.664 --> 32:53.891
oh, okay, well, this isn't so bad. Maybe they don't hate me.

32:53.971 --> 32:57.761
Maybe this is a good thing. And so just act as if

32:58.130 --> 33:01.614
in your faith that they are saved and then believe God for it.

33:01.711 --> 33:04.697
Does that make sense? Yeah. And just like in the prodigals,

33:04.729 --> 33:08.871
let's pray right now. Father, we just thank you for those

33:09.127 --> 33:12.991
in our family, for placing us in the family you placed

33:13.491 --> 33:16.245
us in. Yes, Lord. And Lord, we came here, we didn't have a choice as

33:16.277 --> 33:20.253
to what family we were born into. Some of them have— some of— some listening

33:20.285 --> 33:22.738
today have, have gone through all kinds of hurt,

33:23.571 --> 33:27.098
horrible, horrible things. But I thank you, Lord, that you help,

33:27.162 --> 33:31.138
you enable us to forgive. Yes. And you enable us

33:31.170 --> 33:34.633
now to be lights for you, Father God. And we

33:35.133 --> 33:38.368
just long to see those in our family saved. We have their kids

33:38.881 --> 33:42.103
that have gone out, Lord, like prodigals. Jesus,

33:42.167 --> 33:45.854
we call them back in the name of Jesus. Nothing— no one is beyond

33:46.354 --> 33:48.852
your reach, Lord God. No person, prodigal,

33:49.781 --> 33:53.308
woke, hateful, no one is beyond your

33:53.808 --> 33:56.450
reach. So, Lord, we're just going to add our prayers to your prayers today.

33:56.578 --> 34:00.057
Those that the people have been praying for, their own children, their own parents,

34:00.281 --> 34:03.423
their, their— whoever in their family. We agree that there

34:03.471 --> 34:06.645
is no one beyond the love of God. And so that

34:06.757 --> 34:10.108
you will use us as you said, he who wins souls is wise.

34:10.605 --> 34:14.003
Let us be wise in the way that we walk in the midst of our

34:14.292 --> 34:18.491
relatives, saved and unsaved, that we will be a light. We won't be a hypocrisy.

34:18.556 --> 34:22.114
We won't be a turnoff. We will be a light, a compelling draw

34:22.627 --> 34:25.769
from us to them. And that, that draw will come through our love for them.

34:26.250 --> 34:29.600
We forgive those who've hurt and offended us. We forgive them

34:30.100 --> 34:32.566
because we know the devil has tried to set this up as an obstacle,

34:32.726 --> 34:35.916
as an offense. So God, guide and govern and gather

34:36.012 --> 34:40.296
in our families to you, Lord God, before it is too late.

34:40.441 --> 34:44.262
And we know the day is, is very late and soon,

34:44.535 --> 34:48.100
Lord God, to be carried and drawn in,

34:48.229 --> 34:51.473
drawn, come to a close, Father. And help us to

34:51.505 --> 34:54.781
be wise in our prayers that you would, that we would discern

34:54.893 --> 34:58.715
what's going on in our families and in the world. We would be aware of

34:58.747 --> 35:02.601
what's going on in their lives as much as we can. If they're in

35:03.101 --> 35:07.245
a crisis, if they're in a place of illness or accident

35:07.745 --> 35:10.359
or something, that we would be there for them. Sympathetic,

35:10.585 --> 35:14.280
sensitive, kind. Yeah, exactly. That we would see

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these opportunities and move

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in with your love and truth, Father. Amen. And see them as opportunities to bring

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the gospel and the good news. Amen. Amen. So, Margie,

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you have a wonderful book, many wonderful books,

35:29.660 --> 35:33.028
but talk about Doing Relationships God's Way.

35:33.237 --> 35:36.828
This is, this is very pertinent to what we're talking about

35:37.328 --> 35:40.773
today. Yeah. Well, you know, one of the most difficult things we are called

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to do is be in relationship with others,

35:45.568 --> 35:47.380
whether they're difficult people,

35:48.374 --> 35:52.046
husbands, wives. Sometimes the enemy

35:52.158 --> 35:56.311
takes this opportunity to divide because the closer we are set together,

35:56.392 --> 35:59.438
the easier it is to split apart. And so he

35:59.938 --> 36:03.929
just wants to use that. But we have to understand that our relationship

36:04.429 --> 36:06.944
with everybody else starts with our relationship with ourself.

36:07.553 --> 36:11.450
If you don't like yourself, if you don't love yourself, if you're full of condemnation,

36:11.546 --> 36:15.122
hate, self-hatred, then you

36:15.235 --> 36:18.891
will not be in any position to love or reconcile

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or be strong and to know not only who you are, but how to

36:23.093 --> 36:26.138
relate to others. Your relationship with yourself,

36:26.218 --> 36:30.208
your relationship with God, with others, difficult people, spouses, and sin

36:30.784 --> 36:34.550
are all parts of that book, Doing Relationships God's Way. You can find it

36:34.966 --> 36:37.962
on Amazon or you can find it on liferecovery.com.

36:38.331 --> 36:42.032
And for those of you who are wanting to join us every Thursday night

36:42.080 --> 36:45.653
from 6:30 to 7:30 on

36:45.781 --> 36:48.505
a live forum, we call it SWAT,

36:48.762 --> 36:52.927
Spiritual Warfare Application Technique. Go to our Life Recovery website,

36:53.634 --> 36:57.167
liferecovery.com and scroll down and you'll

36:57.667 --> 37:02.066
find a link where it says, uh, Setting Captives Free link

37:02.566 --> 37:06.242
or classes. Just hit that link and it'll take

37:06.742 --> 37:09.744
you right into the meeting room with the rest of us. And so you can

37:09.776 --> 37:13.068
join us. It's from 6:30 to 7:30, uh,

37:13.534 --> 37:16.361
Minnesota time. And so if you're in Minnesota,

37:16.505 --> 37:20.112
you're good. Otherwise check your, your time zone. And join us.

37:20.889 --> 37:24.000
It's 60 minutes of not only teaching,

37:24.097 --> 37:27.289
but also conversation, questions, prayer,

37:28.555 --> 37:31.686
clarifications of things. It's just a forum. You can just join in.

37:31.799 --> 37:34.119
It's wonderful. And we encourage you to do that.

37:34.820 --> 37:38.213
Thank you for joining us today. And also check out YouTube.

37:38.470 --> 37:41.927
We have a new podcast out there called

37:43.696 --> 37:47.278
Truth Over Feelings Podcast, Truth Over Feelings.

37:47.370 --> 37:51.394
20-Somethings Podcast with Jacinta and Margie, and it's

37:51.894 --> 37:56.187
on both YouTube and Spotify. So it's really granddaughter

37:56.219 --> 37:59.714
and grandma. Yeah, it's great. It's her questions.

38:00.371 --> 38:03.931
What are the questions of a 20-something-year-old and how

38:03.995 --> 38:07.810
would you answer them? So this is kind of a fun and

38:07.826 --> 38:12.219
light, but also very deep and compelling podcast.

38:12.267 --> 38:15.137
It's 30 minutes long. Take time to look it up.

38:16.019 --> 38:20.085
Again, I'll say it again. Truth Over Feelings podcast

38:20.584 --> 38:24.028
on YouTube or Spotify. God bless you, and we'll talk to you soon.

38:26.384 --> 38:27.743
I have an emergency. What is your location?

38:43.950 --> 38:45.569
3, 2, 1.

38:48.841 --> 38:52.324
Rescue Radio, 'cause there's a war for your soul.